Fat Kids Can’t Clean Chimneys by Wicked StepMomster
ISBN-10: ‎0985695420
Publisher: ‎Cornucopia Press (October 17, 2013)
Language: ‎English
Print Length‏: ‎76 pages

MAKES A GREAT GIFT IDEA!

Every Wicked StepMomster knows that the road to hell is littered with minivan-carpooling soccer moms. Instead of flagrantly misappropriating your money, children should be giving back . . . to you. They should be mixing your martinis, waxing your floors and legs, bonding you to your husband until the inheritance or insurance policy is assured, and generally contributing to your 401K.

Fat Kids Can’t Clean Chimneys is the primer for all those parents wondering where the happy in their happy hour went. So kick up your feet, have your free labor force make you a martini, and let the mind massage begin.

About the Author
Once upon a time, in a land closer than you think, there was a woman. She spent most of her days shuttling children to and fro. She cooked more than one meal a night because of picky progeny. She did more laundry than Mao’s dry cleaner so that every soccer, baseball, dance, cheerleading, and football uniform was always at the ready. She typed papers, made Halloween costumes worthy of the Metropolitan Museum, and packed nutritious lunches that went uneaten. This woman—we’ll call her Sad Sack Sallie—helicoptered, room-parented and soccer-momed her way to an early streak of grey and an unquiet nervous breakdown. She now spends her days in an institution needlepointing pillows for the ungrateful children that never visit her. That woman was Wicked StepMomster’s husband’s first wife.

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